I’ve been working on another website lately. It’s called The MANual, and it originally started out as a guide for a friend, but it’s become one of my favourite personal projects as of late. I’ve even been tempted to write more about myself… As proud as I am of the work I put into it, the content itself has forced me to look and think closely about myself. Certain unpleasant truths that I have to deal with. I don’t regret anything… I’m just not happy that my hand was dealt with such cards.

I don’t know how I ended up on Reddit again, but there we go, I ended up on Reddit again. I think what’s happening is that, after I finish job searching on my phone, I just automatically drift to something else for “lighter reading”… and that’s Reddit. Then I find something really interesting, and I get frustrated that my AppBlock has just shut it off in the middle of my reading it, so I disable the AppBlock, and… …forget to re-enable it.

I’ve just gone ahead and uninstalled it from my phone. I don’t use Reddit to really keep up with Twin Cities goings-on anymore, I can go outside or check Facebook or Instagram for that. I am going to miss the r/titanfolk memes and commiserations at the tip of my fingers, but convenience isn’t always a good thing.

Life is progressing somewhat slowly. I should be grateful for that; I have this opportunity to enjoy things while I’m still in-between jobs, I can’t just spend all my time on Reddit. (I’ve actually been doing better about not wasting time on Reddit, according to AppBlock’s statistics.) But I’m sick of it. I don’t want to waste any more of my time on this.

It’s funny. It’s been what, five days, since I’ve last written anything… I did so much… …I didn’t feel the need to write about them. I guess I’ve just been too busy just, living? I’m unemployed and yet I feel busier than ever,, ha… …Maybe now, I can really be in the moment. Things have changed, I’m not so compulsively checking things anymore. Today I’m going to mount the new kitchen shelves; I already put up the new produce baskets the other night; got myself a cute green 3-tiered shelf, too, slim thing, I keep baking supplies and other grains and similar staples on it. Oh, and cans of beer and root beer. You can never have too much Udofot.

Life is good, and I’m not nearly as stressed. I’ve just become more demanding on myself—and that’s good, that’s really, good. I genuinely think I need that.

I don’t regret being like this, for Ant, but maybe one day…

It was hot and blustery when I went out to wait at the bus stop. Took the 11; one of my favourite bus drivers, John was the one who picked me up! We chatted a bit. Asked him if he’d ever been to Crystal Lake, recommended it; he said he had a girlfriend there once, years ago. Hadn’t been since, but it was a nice place. I noticed, maybe for the first time, that he wore fingerless gloves; I wonder if that really made the bus operation more comfortable. Or, if he bikes home after this. We talked a bit about the music festivals happening all over the summer; he asked me if I played any instruments. I told him no, only sang. “Ah, so you’re the back-up instrument!”

The Small Business Founding tutorial at the Central Library didn’t give me the networking opportunities I’d hoped for, but it was very educational. The lecturer, Maribel, recognised me, as we worked in the same building. I didn’t recognise her at all, but I pretended to, as usual. I jotted down plenty of notes, and I’ll be reaching out to her, to obtain a copy of the presentation she gave via email.

I got caught in the rain, after I finished the grocery shopping I did after the workshop; that grey, heavy storm broke open maybe an hour earlier than I thought it would. Ash, one of the workshop attendees, had brought a red-and-black umbrella. I thought it was peculiar, since the weather was still good and sun-bright by the time we got out. I don’t know if they were going elsewhere after the workshop; they’re currently working from home in a 9–5, and expressed a desire to learn what’s required to start their own business. One of the questions I asked Maribel was what sort of start-ups they’d been seeing more often after COVID, and which ones were struggling; of course, many of the craft breweries were closing, but a lot of cleaning companies were going into business. Ash explained that WFH workers were probably hiring them to clean their home; they had done so themself, actually.

Going out an’ about around the city, as limited as the Downtown office-core area is, gave me the idea of looking into some of the nearby local businesses for openings; I found a bunch that interest me. I’ll turn in my applications tomorrow; it’s already enough work to tailor my CV for one position, let alone half a dozen. I’m hoping I land a position in a nearby restaurant. I miss that kind of physically active, in-close-contact-with-food type of work. Maybe it’s not glamourous, but even though at the end of the day a job is just a job, I still feel that anything food-oriented is very important to me.

The job search continues, but I’m in no hurry. I’m finally beginning to mentally slow down—no more rushing and skipping ahead to the next word, next reaction, like before. She and I are speaking slower, now. It’s… really nice.