All-female metal band names

• Black Sapphic Coven
• Maids of Dishonour
• Samantha’s Convent
• Bxtchwish  (buddy picked this one)
• Lady Lucifer
• Mmes de Sade
• Amaranth Whores
• Vesta’s Rebellion
• Titmetal
• Bye-Bye Mary
• Lilitu
• Walpurgisnacht
• Priestesses of Sin
• Dark Lips
• Maiden Medlar
• Quimfire
• CXNTSLAYER

Today I remembered why I’m alive.

Today I remembered why I persist.

I’ve been working on another website lately. It’s called The MANual, and it originally started out as a guide for a friend, but it’s become one of my favourite personal projects as of late. I’ve even been tempted to write more about myself… As proud as I am of the work I put into it, the content itself has forced me to look and think closely about myself. Certain unpleasant truths that I have to deal with. I don’t regret anything… I’m just not happy that my hand was dealt with such cards.

I don’t know how I ended up on Reddit again, but there we go, I ended up on Reddit again. I think what’s happening is that, after I finish job searching on my phone, I just automatically drift to something else for “lighter reading”… and that’s Reddit. Then I find something really interesting, and I get frustrated that my AppBlock has just shut it off in the middle of my reading it, so I disable the AppBlock, and… …forget to re-enable it.

I’ve just gone ahead and uninstalled it from my phone. I don’t use Reddit to really keep up with Twin Cities goings-on anymore, I can go outside or check Facebook or Instagram for that. I am going to miss the r/titanfolk memes and commiserations at the tip of my fingers, but convenience isn’t always a good thing.

Life is progressing somewhat slowly. I should be grateful for that; I have this opportunity to enjoy things while I’m still in-between jobs, I can’t just spend all my time on Reddit. (I’ve actually been doing better about not wasting time on Reddit, according to AppBlock’s statistics.) But I’m sick of it. I don’t want to waste any more of my time on this.

It’s funny. It’s been what, five days, since I’ve last written anything… I did so much… …I didn’t feel the need to write about them. I guess I’ve just been too busy just, living? I’m unemployed and yet I feel busier than ever,, ha… …Maybe now, I can really be in the moment. Things have changed, I’m not so compulsively checking things anymore. Today I’m going to mount the new kitchen shelves; I already put up the new produce baskets the other night; got myself a cute green 3-tiered shelf, too, slim thing, I keep baking supplies and other grains and similar staples on it. Oh, and cans of beer and root beer. You can never have too much Udofot.

Life is good, and I’m not nearly as stressed. I’ve just become more demanding on myself—and that’s good, that’s really, good. I genuinely think I need that.

I don’t regret being like this, for Ant, but maybe one day…

I helped a woman pack her produce at a CSA pick-up, right before the social ride at Perennial. As thanks, she gave me one of her beef tomatoes. I haven’t decided what to make with this yet. I want something uncomplicated, so I can enjoy the full depth of its flavour…

She said she was bringing them to her grandma’s; they were going to follow her recipe, for a tomato jam. It’s very sweet, just like strawberry jam. I was surprised to see that being made with beef tomatoes; she admitted she wanted to give it a go because the beef tomatoes were so cheap. I laughed, and remarked that if it didn’t turn out as sweet as she expected, she could just throw in an apple.

That gives me an idea, about the sorts of jams I could make. Certainly tomatoes are cheaper to buy here than strawberries—and most other berries. So if I want…

It was hot and blustery when I went out to wait at the bus stop. Took the 11; one of my favourite bus drivers, John was the one who picked me up! We chatted a bit. Asked him if he’d ever been to Crystal Lake, recommended it; he said he had a girlfriend there once, years ago. Hadn’t been since, but it was a nice place. I noticed, maybe for the first time, that he wore fingerless gloves; I wonder if that really made the bus operation more comfortable. Or, if he bikes home after this. We talked a bit about the music festivals happening all over the summer; he asked me if I played any instruments. I told him no, only sang. “Ah, so you’re the back-up instrument!”

The Small Business Founding tutorial at the Central Library didn’t give me the networking opportunities I’d hoped for, but it was very educational. The lecturer, Maribel, recognised me, as we worked in the same building. I didn’t recognise her at all, but I pretended to, as usual. I jotted down plenty of notes, and I’ll be reaching out to her, to obtain a copy of the presentation she gave via email.

I got caught in the rain, after I finished the grocery shopping I did after the workshop; that grey, heavy storm broke open maybe an hour earlier than I thought it would. Ash, one of the workshop attendees, had brought a red-and-black umbrella. I thought it was peculiar, since the weather was still good and sun-bright by the time we got out. I don’t know if they were going elsewhere after the workshop; they’re currently working from home in a 9–5, and expressed a desire to learn what’s required to start their own business. One of the questions I asked Maribel was what sort of start-ups they’d been seeing more often after COVID, and which ones were struggling; of course, many of the craft breweries were closing, but a lot of cleaning companies were going into business. Ash explained that WFH workers were probably hiring them to clean their home; they had done so themself, actually.

Going out an’ about around the city, as limited as the Downtown office-core area is, gave me the idea of looking into some of the nearby local businesses for openings; I found a bunch that interest me. I’ll turn in my applications tomorrow; it’s already enough work to tailor my CV for one position, let alone half a dozen. I’m hoping I land a position in a nearby restaurant. I miss that kind of physically active, in-close-contact-with-food type of work. Maybe it’s not glamourous, but even though at the end of the day a job is just a job, I still feel that anything food-oriented is very important to me.

The job search continues, but I’m in no hurry. I’m finally beginning to mentally slow down—no more rushing and skipping ahead to the next word, next reaction, like before. She and I are speaking slower, now. It’s… really nice.

OVERconnected: The Promise and Threat of the Internet is done; now to move on to the next book, or, perhaps better yet, actually finish that painting I’ve been sitting on for two years now.

I still need to clean up my apartment; everything that I’ve brought home from the office (and it turns out; I had brought a lot) still needs to be put away. For example, the Vornado fan… Dietz’s wives (don’t ask). The extra tea that I bought; other miscellaneous office supplies and items to make office work easier and more efficient. I now have an excess of smartphone stand-chargers, and I probably need to buy shelves for Dietz’s wives to sit on. This isn’t a problem I anticipated having.

July’s goth picnic was cancelled again, due to the smoke from the Canadian wildfires. I’m getting increasingly antsy about getting my GoSwag flask back. Yes, I have a spare, but it’s not yellow, and I am unhappy that my flask is possibly occupying valuable space in Alice’s abode (whatever that may be).

I REALLY want my flask back.

This span of unemployment has given me the mental space needed to think about how I want to arrange my life. I’ve spent about a year now exploring various scenes in Minneapolis… Which biking clubs interest me, which don’t. Several of the dive bars and live music venues here. Unhappily, there isn’t anything comparable to the Icehouse here in NE. But biking down to there or Eat Street Crossing isn’t a huge burden to me.

Music, dance, biking—that’s what’s important to me. Live music more than anything else at this point. (And I should also really make it a point to visit the MIA soon… I haven’t been there in a while.) I like biking, it’s important to me. But as I explained to her earlier, and which she and my former supervisor understand very deeply—biking is my walkies. You don’t talk to me when I bike. Well, I don’t have extended conversations when I bike. Pointing out something, discussing a landmark, sure. Going over our careers and hobbies and children and other current affairs? Hard pass. Biking. Is my walkies.

So I’m not really that emotionally close to the various biking scenes here, even though I’ve made a reputation for myself as that cool guy who brings good music and who’s a good conversationalist over the table. People like me… and it’s still very strange to me, how much they like me. I suppose because I always bring something to the table, I should expect that sort of affection—I have very little experience with such social relations. Nothing in how I was raised—the first 18 years of my life—prepared me for this. And after that? It was mostly work, isolated… No social life. Video games, reading, art. Not an entirely empty existence, but.

Almost completely lacking in that human contact that adds texture and depth of flavouring to one’s days.

Now, in Minneapolis, after about a year, I’ve made interesting acquaintances: every outing has been a venture into new, unfamiliar territory. But I suppose that’s life. I suppose on Tuesday, I’ll go back out to Grumpy’s, spend more time with the burners and burner-adjacent—it’s a nice crew that I really like. I vibe more with them than with some others whom I spend more regular time with; I ought to spend more of my Thursdays with Venture Bikes, too. Their slow rolls are… slow. But the community is unmatched. I’ve spent a good amount of time trying to find my tribe here in Minneapolis—it turns out I have a bunch, but there are some tribes that I’m closer to than others.

Navigating all these relationships, all these communities. Finding out “who you are” isn’t a singular, lonesome atomic process, but also a question of “Who do I want to spend time with?” Nobody had taught me that. I didn’t learn it from movies, music, stories, TV. Games like Persona focus only on individual relationships, not tribes or groups of people. The World Ends With You showed the embryonic stages of what I’ve undergone this year. Do people not know how to tell stories about cities? Do people not have them? Not only the stories, but the city?

I was telling my fiancée, some time ago, that when she listens to recordings, she’s only getting HALF the music. I described it to her as the difference between us texting and calling, versus actually being there with each other…

Going to Rootstock at the Icehouse after the Giant Pencil Sharpening block party, that was an electrifying experience. Up until I moved to Minneapolis… the only live performances (outside of the Joyful DJ Bike Raves) I’d seen up close was a production of The Producers done by my local hometown theatre, and some performance of Randy Newman somewhere in or near L.A. (or was it Hollywood?) when he clearly had a cold. I remember the former only dimly (though I did enjoy it), and the latter even less so; I was only a child, and I possibly was too short to see much. The two biggest things I remember of that The Producers production were the orchestra tuning prior to the start of the play, and the performance of the woman playing Ulla. Since Rootstock, I’d been FOMOing into every live music event I can get my hands on.

Listening to music, for me, for the longest time, was a solitary event. Me in my room, with a pair of headphones. Half the time, I was doing homework during it. I didn’t really know what music was like. I didn’t know it was any different.

Now she’s involved in amateur theatre… It’s different, so different. How many people are like me, having grown up never seeing a concert in their life? You miss out on so much. I, personally, would have lost my fucking mind if I saw BABYMETAL and KINGSLAYER perform live.

Goddamn.

Another bike ride, another setlist made. I’ll mix all these properly some day, but right now, I’m content to have curated a bunch of works that make an overall pleasing program. I don’t know when I’ll have the chance to play this metal-heavy set, but honestly, most of the work is for my own satisfaction. I just happen to be good enough that I’ve gained a reputation on social bike rides for bringing great music.

I wonder if my next job will afford me the downtime to work on setlists, like my last one did. I wouldn’t be torn up if it didn’t, but it better be satisfying and engaging. Yeah, I know work is work, but. When you’re not fully aching for money, you’re more interested in working conditions than the pay grade. Am I in a privileged position? You tell me… I gave up having a car (and paying for stupid shit like car insurance, parking, petrol, and maintenance) and I live in a studio apartment.

How unnecessary is a car? Well, Jules and MJ are looking to sell their car after they finish repairs on it… Repairs caused by, guess what, disuse. And this isn’t the first time their car’s been towed because of disuse; people keep reporting their car as abandoned for not being used at all for over a month, and this parking brake set repair, which is going to take at least two months because the parts are on back-order from Japan, they don’t even need a rental car! They’re going to join the growing numbers of Minneapolis residents who don’t own a car, not because they’re poor, but because they don’t need to.

I’m hoping my next job gives me a nice bike-commute. Silver Lake is close by (only 5 miles) but biking up there is ass. And now I feel like writing about the importance of live music…